Happy Lumpianivesary!

In contrast to Lito’s overwhelming skill of surprising me, I suck at surprises.

So many times have I tried to surprise him but ended up failing at it because he notices the little stuff and he would say, “Yeah, I know you’d do that”. So much about bursting my bubble. I suck so much at surprises that I did not attempt to make surprises anymore. I usually ask him what he wants, when he wants it and how we are going to split the cost  (90% on my expense, 10% his expense or whatever).  And mind you, it is so hard to give a gift to someone who’s so particular in every tiny detail. It’s so much better to tell him ahead, especially if we talk about gadgets.

Anyway, on our third anniversary, I tried to attempt at the surprise thing.

I bought a cake for him. I was juggling between Tiramisu and Sugar Free Cheesecake but ended up with Moist Choco from Leona’s. I had the words “Happy 3^rd Birthday to us, my wab! I wab you” scribbled on the cake. I also thought of buying him something, maybe a cellphone that would end his complaints of a very slow phone with an Android OS.

Instead, life surprised us with thrombocytopenia. Nosebleed? Yeah, me too. Let me explain though.

simple back scratches turn to bruises during low platelet counts.
When his counts dived, more of this scattered at his back. 

small red dots on his arm, that black bruise was after a CBC

these red spots travel all the way from his ankles to his legs

On Lito’s first consolidation chemo cycle, it is expected that platelets will dive. Thus, even when we were at home, we would always monitor him through home CBCs conducted by our good medical technician friend, Norman of LH Prime. His last CBC count on the 24^th, a day prior to our anniversary, was 51,000 per micro liter. Normal platelet count should be 150,000 to 450,000. Our doctor said that if counts would go below 50,000, we should have him admitted to the hospital.

At night, we noticed red spots/bruises all over his arms, legs and back and some on his lips. More like, dotted lines, like those that you get when you have dengue fever symptoms. Our med tech said that this is a symptom of thrombocytopenia or low platelet counts. Very low counts would result to difficult clotting processes (Lito should not bleed in any way or else he would be hemorrhaging). Very very low platelet counts will tend to make the capillaries burst causing gum bleeds, nosebleeds.

If there is one thing I could advise those whose loved ones have blood problems, please do not look at the internet prior to sleeping. It will worry you more and worrying wouldn’t help. This was what happened to me on the dawn of our anniversary. I was awake and my neurosis kicked in with my insomnia. I was awake staring at his nose and mouth for any signs of bleeding just because I looked at the internet for worst case scenarios.

On our anniversary, his platelet counts are at 29,000 per micro liter and white blood cells are at 0.4 (high risk of infection). So, without sleep, I packed and made reservations at the hospital, blood bank and called donors for transfusion and Lito’s admission. Later that night, his platelets dropped to 6000, the lowest ever, and I saw his gums starting to bleed. Good thing our ready donor was able to offer his platelets and my Lito’s counts increased to a considerable panic-free average. I spent most of our anniversary running back and forth from the room to the blood bank, panicking, assuring myself, texting my AML bantay buddies, checking Lito’s condition, attending to our donors, answering to friends and relatives concerned about Lito--in short, my day was a riot of a whirlwind. 

Orange brutus lumpia  on our anniv lunch

It was then that we had a late lunch of lumpia and burger steak, eggs, veggies sprayed over the hospital bed. We were eating it and Lito just held my hand and said, “Happy Birthday, paree.. Thank you for taking care of me ha.. I love you”.  I looked at the setting—no candle lights, no surprises, no gifts, no flowers nor flair but he still puts my heart at a pause with the sincerity of his words and the attacks his surprises of love would give me. It was just us, in the whole essence of marriage—being there for each other as friends, partners, taking care of each other, and loving each other more. As usual, I had that pitter-patter in my heart and my eyes welled up. And I just squeezed back his hand and said I love him, too and indeed, it still is a happy anniversary because we are still together. And being in the hospital together with the opportunity of him being healed would bring us more years together.  

dinner was a diff thing. Papa & Mama
gave us Ching Palace treats, Ivy bought us cake,
Jayson & Aisee bought Pinoy food faves
(monggos, kangkong, kaldereta).

I told him I had cake at home and he said he figured it out already, I must have blurted it out in stance or something. Hayy.

You see, I do suck at surprises. Still. And I may never be good at it.

But one thing I have learned during this one of a kind anniversary is that—I may suck at surprises but with Lito, I never suck at the surprises that life gives us. Preparing for a perfect life or a perfect surprise may falter but your attitude on life’s rebounds and rebounds—well, I guess that’s what’s more important.  

In other words, I bought cake. Life gave me lumpia. Life is good, there is still something on the table even if it's not what we planned in the first place. Might as well eat what's there and be thankful of the blessings and surprises it gives. :)