Digging through Empty Pockets

The pharmacy section of Chong Hua Hospital is a myriad of stories. If you listen carefully, your ears and your heart will bleed out with the many challenges that sickness can bring when it comes to finances.

Today, for example, in the 3 cashier areas, here’s what I heard:

Cashier number 1:

“Ma’am, bill nimo kay P1,300.” (Ma’am, your bill is P1,300.00).

P700 ra man akong kwarta. Pwede nimo kuhaan na ang uban para mahimo P700? (I only have P700. Can you take out some so it can be at P700?).

Cashier Number 2:

“Ha?? Ingon ana ka mahal… mag withdraw sa ko Miss..” (That expensive??? Let me withdraw first).

Cashier Number 3:

“Ma’am Ara, declined ma’am.. “

That was credit card number 1.

The bill was around P20,000 plus, just for daily medicines, particularly his antibiotics. Yes, that’s daily.

I shelled out credit card number 2. Declined still.

I was praying so hard that credit card number 3, my last one, will not fail me.

“Ma’am, approved na Ma’am”.

I let out a sigh of relief with that statement.

It’s never easy when one is sick in the family. For one, it drains you emotionally. And it also drains you financially. For months, I have been talking about the former, never about the latter. Maybe because this is a challenge that we try to work on our own, trying not to bother others with its nitty-gritty.

But for once, I would like to talk about it. Especially that I am always at the transacting end when money is about to be vacuumed out of my pockets and out of my cards.

I abhor statements like, “Ay okay rana uy, dato bitaw na sila! (That’s okay, they are rich anyway..) and I have always heard it said right in front of my face, in conversations, in comments, etc. It’s never okay to have cancer, no matter your social status, no matter how much money you have. It’s never okay to see your hard-earned money go down the drain for something like the Big C. It’s never okay.   

The truly rich are those who are perfectly healthy. If you are healthy, then thank God for that fortune.  Lack of money is a problem but there are worse problems, like lack of health. When it comes to the Big C, it doesn't choose as to who has the money and who does not. Steve Jobs died of cancer, same as that taho vendor who we never knew the name but died of cancer anyway. 

Cancer robs you unguarded, that’s for sure. But it can never leave you empty, unless you allow it. The financial difficulties have been a rollercoaster for me. And I am amazed with the wonders our Lord Friend has surprised me with his provisions. With Him, we are never left empty.

There was one time (months ago) that the credit card money that can be swiped lacks P803.50. It was around midnight so I didn’t have the guts to call my friends in the middle of the night. The pharmacist told me I can add up cash or with another credit card. All my cards were maxed out then. So I told the pharmacist to give me a few minutes to think. I don’t want to bother Lito with P803.50.

So what I did, I talked with my Lord Friend over my head. I said, “Please help me, help me.. “ In a trance, I scavenged my wallet. For those who know me, my wallet  always looks like it went through a mini typhoon. I do not arrange my money or my receipts, much to my organized friends’ annoyance (hehe).

I scoured through my wallet and took out bills, coins, and set it aside. There were rumpled hundreds and fifties. I counted all of the money after and I had goosebumps when I came up with P803.00. It lacked 50cents so I scoured some more and found 2 25cents. I tried to look for more but there was none. So, I had an exact P803.50. Exactly what I need, at a time when I thought I was left empty. I cried out of miraculous awe and wonderment at His doings. His humor and timing and everything leaves me in a stupor as I went to the pharmacist and gave her the exact amount. She was smiling when I did.

This is a true story. Seriously. And I realized that it’s so funny how much you can dig and how awesome God’s surprises are at a time when you felt you have nothing. I guess, we also have to empty our hearts and trust in Him. He will provide, in one way or another. He did for us and these are His little miracles—anonymous bank deposits, former clients who just shelled out cash, school alumni getting together and sharing some of their cash, new projects, new businesses, new clients.

Cliché as it may sound, they say and I believe, “Do your best and God will do the rest”.  Empty your pockets, empty your hearts. When you have so much, where will He put His blessings?