Past Self

How do you disable Facebook memories? Make that hugot, how do you disable memories? Each time I glimpse at one, it brings a jolt of reminiscing pain, of nostalgic sadness.

I look at myself in pictures from years ago and realize how different I was. It’s like looking at another person altogether. Then, I was a lot of pounds lighter, prettier, sexier (ha!), I was so happy, so carefree, so innocent, so wary of petty things.

Sometimes, I wish I could have a conversation with my past self and tell her to guard herself for what’s to come, to always cherish every moment, to prioritize the non-tangible and to not be too complacent. I want to hug her and tell her that she can make it through. I want to laugh with her and tell her, “Oh, you wouldn’t believe what you will become or what will happen years from now…”

But then life is not as easy as clicking a Disable button. You have to live it, you have to endure it, survive it and tell its tale to someone who is just hanging around the corner, waiting to comfort you and say, “You did good. You did well. You are a survivor. I am proud of you…” That someone, my dear self, is your future self.