Winning our Battle of Single Lines-- Finally!

I hated that single line of the pregnancy kit-- despite raging hormones and confusing signs, I still get that single freaking line. everytime. Negative. People told me to be patient but for those who know me, patience was never a virtue I possess. Some misconstrue my need to have a kid because of age. I will be 30 this year, so I need to have a child or else it'd be very hard.

Yes, they are right. The need to have kids is because of age. But not mine alone. It's that crazy age gap that goes longer as each year passes by that I dont have kids. I'm scared that I might not be that understanding when our age gaps are too far behind.

They didn't know that when I got to meet Lito again, I know I'd want to have kids with him. Only with him. From our make-believe kids Levi and Muriel who in turn, are very dear to us already that they seem real-- this is just a manifestation of how much I want to see and hold and touch that product of love from both of us. Some see this as sad, some see them as corny. We never cared. For us, this is our way of being hopeful.

I wanted to see a mini Lito and mini Ara meshed together. I wanted to be not so old to play with them and to understand their teenage years. I wanted to be that kind of Mom who could scrutinize my children's suitors as if I'm strict but be the same person they'd go to when they have problems. The same relationship I have with my Mom. That same Mom who had my brother when she was just 20 years old.

I wanted to be that kind of a cool Mom. Seeing Lito with kids and most especially to Nini back in his vacation alone to the US makes me believe he'd be a great dad, too. Lito and I have been practicing this with Levi and Muriel for such a long time that the mere thought of never having real ones scares and pains me. And that single line just materializes those thoughts.

Pregnancy kit result--one fainter than the other (05.01.11)

Until the 1st day of May. I wasn't even delayed. I was expecting my period on the same day. Last Friday, Parklane had a fire drill. It was SOOO freakin hot I had to race back to my office to cool off right after the drill, and then I vomited three (3) times. My friends told me 'maybe you're pregnant' but I just shrugged the thought off. My hormones and those crazy signs have been misleading me for so long. On Saturday, I was planning to go to Toledo to support our runners for the Ultramarathon but was too tired to get out of bed.

So, out of my stock of pregnancy kits, I took a test and lo and behold, I saw two (2) lines, albeit the line in the T area is fainter than the C area. I was shaking and was crying alone. I tried to rub my eyes because I was never used to seeing two lines.  But then, there they are. I showed this to Lito and we just hugged, laughed, cried, hugged again and just felt that warm feeling I've been longing for.

Lab test results-- Positive! 

We never told anyone until we were sure after the lab tests. Today, it showed positive. Soon, Levi and/or Muriel will be real-- real enough to tie our hearts together forever. My Kuya Bimbo told me in our phone call, "It's the right time". It is true. God gives us what we need, in His time. Not our time, but His. We might not understand it but somehow, His plans are so much better than I or Lito could ever have.

Levi: I'm gonna be a real boy!

I am excited, I am happy. I could never imagine whatever good it was that we did right to deserve this but I'm glad we did.  Thank you Lord. Goodbye, single lines. I am going to be a mother, soon. Lito will be a Dad. Saying it just feels right. Please pray for us in the next nine (9) months. :)