All about Eve

the queen of our hearts, our Mommy...

Her name is Eve.

She’s the first woman in the world, and she is the first woman in mine. Many of you may not know her but she’s the most remarkable woman I’ve ever known and I could say, an epitome of love and devotion.

She’s my mom. I call her my Ham, derived from that old commercial which says—“Isipin mo na lang—ham ‘yan! Ham nga!!” And I use this line when I tease her and play with her love handles. Somehow, the nickname stuck.


Together with my Dad, she will always be my inspiration and my constant guide, my life's compass. 

To describe her means I would certainly fall short of adjectives for she is beyond description. But I’ll try my best to tell you a little about this woman who’s short of height (haha), but never short on love. 

There's not a single person in my life that I believe deserves happiness more than her. Forgive me but I will strangle anyone who would hurt her, or let her shed a tear. She has been through so much these past years.  Watching her go through the storms our family had to go through makes me feel protective of her.  I only want her to feel joy for the rest of her days.  

My Dad suffered a stroke and without hesitation or complaints or second thoughts,  she has become an instant nurse and a true hero to my Dad’s life since then. I’ve written an article about my parents. If you haven't read it yet, I encourage that you do, so you will have a glimpse of how blessed I am to have a Mom like her and to have a Dad like my Daddy. You can check it out at this linkà Living the Marriage Vows-- An Untold Love Story 

my Ham with her king (during one of Dad's P.T. sessions)

our lucky Daddy smothered with his girls' kisses

you inspire me mommy. 

So anyway, back to my Mom. I love making her feel happy and I really hope that in a way, I brought happiness in her life. As much as I want to give her the world, I cannot afford it but her reaction to what I can give regardless of price or value has the same effect-- gratitude and enthusiasm. Making her happy is such an easy thing for she gets happy with the simplest of stuff-- 5-minute massages, a phone call, a text message, a hundred-peso shirt, an ukay2x bag, shawarma, movie watching, Chowking food trips, a short visit to the mall. The last time we went to Ayala, she was like a little child seeing a zoo for the very first time, my heart melts. It is not often that she goes out of the house because she focuses on taking care of my Dad. The few times that she could go out, I adore her enthusiasm in all places new. 

my life's cushion

I spoke of Chowking food trips earlier. I have to say it here--Chowking should pay her for her brand loyalty. I don’t know what’s in Chowking. I know she and Dad used to date there when Dad was well. Every after mass in Mabolo, they would eat there so I guess the obsession of sweet and sour pork and buchi started there. What’s amusing is that if given a choice between the best restaurant in Cebu and Chowking, we all know where she would go.

She loves chocolates, but she never eats them. She hides it in a place where she knows there’s chocolate somewhere and gives it to her children in due time, instead.

my best friend at home-- my Ham

My mom is my best friend at home, I always say.

I try to talk to her every single day. People close to me are astonished and would ask what could we possibly talk about every day??? Oh, the weather. What my Lola cooked for dinner. My brothers. Our neighbors. What's on TV. What she dreamt about. Her grandchildren. Daddy. Her hair. John Lloyd Cruz. Prayers. My life. Her life. You name it, we can talk about it.

In her soul, she radiates compassion and empathy. When there is no one to turn to, I know I’ll never be alone because my Ham is there. In her devotion to Dad, she finds time and squeezes a few moments to be there for anyone who needs her—and we are seven in the family. It’s not an easy task! So when I cry, she cries with me. She cried with me when I had my heart broken for the first time, she used to be my shield against my strict grandfather (her father) when I had dates then (hehe). When I’m happy, she’s elated. She wants to know what made my day. When I struggle, she lifts me up. And in all these hurdles I've been facing, she's my constant source of strength. There are no canned words, just her soothing voice will make me strong. She is my cheerleader and she inspires me to reach my dreams in life.

 At times when I feel that I cannot take things anymore, I look up to her example. She made me realize that there's so much more that a person could give if you love another. I have seen her smile in the worst of times, I have witnessed how she was able to give advices still when she herself was hurting. It is amazing how she can be a mom to seven kids, a daughter to my Lola, a wife to my Dad all at the same time, with so much love and devotion. She never fails to make me happy just to be by her side. Her constant encouragement and pride in me has allowed me to become who I am today. Her motherhood and her friendship have shaped me into the woman that I am—independent, strong, empathic, sensitive.

i love this woman!

At times when I doubt myself, my ham helps me believe in myself. With my every accomplishment or struggle, she has been by my side. I remember when my son died, my world was in shambles and all were blurry in my eyes. It was only when she went to the hospital and touched my hand that I was able to focus a bit, cry, and just let myself be. At that moment, I realized that no matter where we are, no matter how old we get or how much success we have accomplished, when the world would seem to end, we become like little kids whose shattered world seeks the comfort of no less than that of a mother. We believe in magic touches, in the instant healing of a bruise just because our Mom kisses it. We search and search for meaning sometimes, we just don't know how much wisdom we can get just by observing our own mothers.  

I am proud to say we are raised well. No exceptions, even with our boys who are so "manly" outside. We were raised not to deprive each other of hugs or embraces when we need them, we were raised to not hesitate to say I love you when we mean to say it. We were raised to be with each other in good times and in bad and to not forsake one who needs help. We were raised by God's angels-- my Mom and Dad. We could never be more than blessed.  

I say this with the best intentions—my ham is SILLY. Hehehe… My brothers love to tease her, she’s just like an extended sister to us. She is gorgeous. She's beautiful, even if she is not adorned with glittering diamonds, or branded clothes or expensive perfumes. She is a beauty of her own, her strong character radiates that beauty that does not need external modifications. And she’s more beautiful when she doesn’t know how beautiful she is. She laughs at herself and she never takes herself too seriously.

She does not know this and she often denies this—but she is wise. Wise enough to know when to reach out and when to let me have my own space. Wise enough to brave through life and all the strikes it has given her. She has overcome and is overcoming. With all my frustrations, she reminds me to pray. When I first knew about Lito’s diagnosis, she’s one of the few I sought comfort to. In times that I felt alone and hurt, I want to run to her and just feel her embrace and I know I’ll be okay. To have an impact like that in a person’s life is a great gift. And I thank God every day for giving me an angel in disguise, in the form of my Mom.

She is someone people just want to be around. She leaves you feeling better. She brings you up, and very rarely (if ever) brings you down. To our close friends who are blessed to know her, she is a very likeable Tita, someone they can make chika with even after a first meeting. If she weren't my Mom, I'd ask her to adopt me! hehehe.. To her in-laws, she's no monster-in-law. To wit, Lito loves her so much and has been close to her since like forever. 

with my girls... at a time when i was so down, they never fail
to make me feel better after a talk. 

And most of all, and I think, this might be the very first time I will be able to say this to her--- She makes me proud. So, so, so proud to have a mother like my mom. I am so proud to be her daughter. She has braved through life with so much determination, optimism and love that it’s overwhelming where she gains her strength.

I cannot imagine living without her. Just typing that makes my heart ache.

To think that, someday, hopefully a very very long time fro now, I will have to carry on without her, it makes me lose my breath. I just don’t know how my life could go on without her guidance, without her strength, without her love, without her presence. She molded me to become a better person. She is my Dad’s hero and best friend. She is the wind beneath my wings. She is the light of my life. If God will grant me the blessing to have a daughter, I pray that I’ll be at least half the woman that my mother is—and if given that, I know I’ll be a good mother someday.

i love my Ham.. Happy Birthday!!!

She is really shy and I know that if she knew I'm gonna blog about her, she would say, "Day, ayaw uy..ulaw kaayo. " But I'm not listening to her this time because this is how i express how much I love her. I hope that I have done enough justice in describing my Mom but this isn't enough yet as I have so much more to say. I simply cannot put into words who my Mom is in my life and the impact she has given me. For she just didn’t give birth to me, she gave me life and she has taught me how to live it.

Today happens to be her birthday and it might be the first time that I cannot be with her on this very special day. I am so so sorry for that. Ham, all I really want to say is with all my heart that’s full of gratitude--- I LOVE YOU, very much. You are amazing. 

Happy Happy Birthday my Ham…