Re-Written

Our 3rd anniversary is different from the first 2. There will be no parties, no candle light dinners, no flowers, or fancy gifts. This year, we celebrate the miracle and blessing that is called life-- and how we were able to face it together, with our faith intact and our love and friendship much stronger.. 

Apr 25, 2009

My dearest paree/wab/crazy/realest/craziest/daddy/mywab, it was only 3 years ago that we first pledged our commitment to one another. Only 3 years. A small length of time for some but significant all the same, as we have gone through so much in those three years, maybe more than other couples could in their lifetime. I can close my eyes and remember walking down that aisle, shaking and in tears as I vowed to love you through it all. And indeed, we have been through a lot together that thinking about them makes me sigh and wonder how we were able to make it through.

Our tragedies make our love stronger

The series of tragedies have seriously shaken us to the core. But I would like to believe that tragedies, like any other things given, are still blessings. In them, we have both learned to be brave. No, not the Joan of Arc bravery but that bravery that a calm and still heart can offer, that strength that you get when you fall down on your knees and submit all your trust and hopes in a Supreme Being. The kind of bravery that makes you swear to never give up, no matter how dire the circumstances will be. That kind of strength that will make you fight for dear life, ask for help and just fight for something, something that makes you feel alive, because being alive means that I get to spend time with you. It means that there is someone worth fighting for.

These tragedies have made us appreciate the fact that when everything else is gone, or when those things that made it so before will be gone, we hold on to the one thing that would tide us through it all. I would like to believe that one thing is called love. And with our so-called tragedies, we hold on to each other. We hold on to love, as if it’s our only means of survival. So, there’s no way for us to take that for granted. Others wait their whole lives to have these kinds of opportunity to strengthen them. We got our own miracle through our tragedies in three years. So, you see, even if I could, I wouldn’t wish for things in the past to be different.

strangers running for Lito. isn't that a mark of a wonderful
person? Thanks Nikki Hordista and all the other ninjas
who never fail to pray and support my wab in their own way

I don't know if I told you but to me, you are such a wonderful person and you just don’t know how you bring joy and meaning to other people’s lives just by being you. I can’t help but feel overwhelmed seeing that so many people love you, from family, relatives, friends—close, acquaintances, and even strangers. I find their love and support for you amazing beyond words. Some people are not that blessed, pree. And maybe you are that blessed, because you have been such a blessing to them. I wished I never under-appreciated you in the past years because these things that people do to you, remind me that all along, I have been married to a very wonderful person. Your random acts of kindness still take me by surprise because you do it so casually and so simply and I wished more people could see that. And I couldn’t ask for more than that. I know Levi (we love you baby), would have taken after you in that aspect.

Pree, I may not be the perfect wife. Sometimes, I let my pride, insensitivity and ego hurt you, intentionally or unintentionally. Thank you for loving me, despite me. I promise to be more understanding and more patient with your needs as the years go by.

It’s a beautiful thing to be in love every day. Thank you for never failing to make me feel that way for three years, five years before that, and a whole lot of years more, God willing. Not everyone has that kind of blessing. I will be forever grateful of you.

I would like to thank you as well for you faith in me, for trusting me to be the best that I can be, wherever I am, whatever I do. Thank you for always reminding me to move on, for being my source of strength when I feel low, for wiping my tears, for the vote of confidence when I doubt myself, for saying that my bilbil (love handles) are cute, for making me smile and laugh, even when you are weak to do so. Thank you for never making me feel unworthy of your love for me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for fighting for me.

So today, on our 3^rd wedding anniversary, in front of our stuffed babies and whoever will be reading this, I would like to renew our vows and again pledge my life to you.

I promise to remain faithful to our marriage, even if John Lloyd Cruz would stand in our way (or those 10 others on my list! Haha), even when the “romance” is gone. I promise to hold your hand, frail or smooth, and wait for that time when we become too old and wrinkly, taking turns to put menthol balms at our sore spots, still watching reruns of FRIENDS, or checking from time to time our social media accounts, talking about the days’ events and other people (yeah we do gossip, admit it! Haha). I promise to love you, even if God won’t allow us to have more kids (Levi will always be our eldest), I am so used to treating you like a kid anyway (lol). But if God would bless us with child/ren, I promise to be a good mother and let them listen to the music of the 80’s and 90s, and let them watch cartoons of our time.

I promise to be there for you, in reverse isolation or in good blood counts, with hair or without. Whether you feel fat, ugly, losing muscles, pale, bald, weak, I will always think that you are perfect—perfect for me. I promise to still be your best friend and your number one cheerleader and to hold your hand and be there for you when your blood counts and platelets start to dive. I will make you laugh, even if I sound so lame and corny. I promise to work at our love and uplift you because together, we can accomplish more than we could do alone.

I promise to be strong when you are weak, to never give up when you feel like you can’t stand it, I promise to pray our prayers our way and thank God for our angels up there. I promise to be your best friend, your ally, your confidante, your rock. You have always said that you will protect and provide for me. When the tables are turned, I promise that I will be strong enough to protect you and if need be, to provide for you. I promise that whatever path and tragedies this life may take us, I will love you, until death parts us.

Because it may have been three years; you may have cancer, on remission but not cured yet; we may have lost our Levi; but when asked again, if I do take you as my lawfully wedded husband, all I could say is: I STILL DO, always and forever. 

Happy Anniversary, my wab! I love you so so much. 

Martina McBride's I'm Gonna Love you Through It, is a song that is so close to my heart.. I hope you could listen to the song. :)