For that Strong Woman in the Hospital Room across ours

Lito and I woke up late today because we slept late. And it’s not just the usual Diablo thing or internet stuff. We actually turned off the computer and talked about a lot of stuff, the way we used to. This time, it was melancholic and we were in tears in the wee hours of the morning.

Who were those tears for? We wept for an inspiring woman just a room across from ours. Let me tell you about her.

sexy nga Mama

Days after Lito was confined last June 17, his mom, Mama Santa, was also confined at a room just adjacent to ours. Unknown to some, whilst Lito is fighting his own battle, his mom is fighting a much bigger one. The youngest of her family, most of her siblings and her parents as well suffered from the Big C. Mama was diagnosed a few years ago with a brain tumor. Luckily, it was benign so doctors tried to shrink it using laser operation. I may not be so technical here so bear with me. Early this year, months after Lito’s diagnosis, it was found out that her tumor has been expanding and after months of testing, it was found out that she has Breast Cancer in the left breast. Because of her existing tumor, we just cannot have the breast removed, so she went on chemotherapy too as an outpatient. Lately, she has been complaining of not being able to sit up straight or stand up on her own because of some pain she feels in her chest area. She was confined currently because of this. A bone density scan proved that the cancer has spread to her bones.

I have never talked much about my parents-in-law, most specifically my mother-in-law. Media and society has coined a negative image generally on mothers-in-law. I am blessed that I never thought of Mama this way, maybe because she has never given me any reason for me to think so.

Mama and Papa 

I am one of the lucky few who are blessed to have great in-laws—both in Mama and in Papa. They have guided us in ways that are not intrusive but in a way that makes me go to them comfortably, anytime we can,  and talk to them with marital problems when I cannot handle them myself. They have welcomed me wholeheartedly as Lito’s wife.

So in the wee hours of the morning last night, Lito and I got to talking. He asked me a lot of questions about why things happened this way, were they bad people, did they do anything wrong for them to have these ordeals.  He was saying things about wishing he was the only one who’s sick instead of Mama who’s so active before. He cursed cancer and how it has become such a burden in our lives. There are no words for me to comfort him in his anguish. For once, I shut up and not try to be the philosophical adviser that I tend to be. I hugged him and just tried to be there for him. After all, if it is painful for me.. How much more for him as a son?

Mama and a younger version of Papa- Derek hehe

Over the years that Lito and I have been married, I have kept my considerable distance between him and Mama. I love Mama, I surely hope she knows that, but from a distance. My heart dictates me that though there is no intrusion on Mama’s part, Lito and her always had this unique and untouchable mother-son tandem. For example, Lito’s business, Insotec Computers could never be as successful as it is now, without Mama. She has been there from the very start. She has helped Lito, debated over some stuff, made it grow as big as it is now, the same way she has helped her family’s business and Papa’s family business before as well. These are just some things, and as a daughter-in-law, that distance that I gave is just a show of respect for that relationship that has been formed long before I existed in Lito’s life.

Mama Santa lives by her name—Santa. Which means saint. Or comically, most associate it with that big fat guy with a white beard during Christmas—Santa Claus. But I’d like to stick to her original meaning of her name. She truly is a saint, especially with being able to raise Lito, the love of my life, in a family of love that he shared with two brothers and a sister and 2 loving parents. If there’s something that I truly appreciate, this is it.  She is the kind of mom that her children still run to when they need to. She is there when they are sick, for celebrations or even when there is no need at all, they just want their Mom to be there.  She makes us laugh, she’s like a little kid who loves food and she can make fun of herself. The house is much more alive with her presence.

Mama and Papa with the young Inso's--
Lito, Mona, Stanly & Bryan

Mama is a superwoman, and a very beautiful one at that. She reminds me of my good friend, Annabelle, who also suffered thyroid cancer. Both of them possess this inner strength that exudes a calm demeanor amidst pain and amidst suffering. It’s like swallowing your own pain just so that those loved ones surrounding them, will not see them suffer.

Mama has shown me love. There were times when she has shown me more love than I think I deserve. She has been there to keep me calm in some not so calm moments. She has advised me on how to handle her son during his tantrums. She has shared to me her own experiences and how she was able to surpass it all, without burning bridges in between. She’s just amazing, amazing.

That is why when Lito asked me why they are “punished”, I cannot answer. I don’t have any answers with me. All I know is that, we need to be stronger in our burdens. We need prayers and we need miracles. We need to believe that if there is someone there powerful enough to give us this pain, then there is also someone there who is powerful enough to take away this pain. This too, shall pass, I know. But during those times that we’re still getting there, I am at his side, and their family’s.

I would like to ask, if you are reading this, to please pray for our Mama Santa, for my husband Lito, for those who are fighting the Big C. Please pray that there will be a considerable cure for this awful disease.

For Mama Santa, stay strong Ma. There is no way I can ever thank you enough, for your son, for your love. We are all here for you and we love you.

A man who treats you like a princess is proof that he is raised by a queen.