Understanding the Brats inside Us
I've heard of this very bratty kid at the 10th floor of the hospital. Most of the nurses try to wish they wouldn't go inside his room. He is loud, he talks back to his mom and dad, he demands a lot, demands unnecessary things. He hates fat nurses and calls them as such right in their face: "Get out! I don't like you 'coz you are fat!" One time, his mom was also sent to the emergency room because she got hypertensive after dealing with this kid. You could say, none would like to go near him.
Reactive as I was before, I would have said, "What the heck is that boy's problem?" But if you are among the many who are in one way or another, affected with cancer or whose loved ones are affected by it, you feel a greater understanding of things. When we deal with things as big as cancer, most little things that make you react often do not have that much effect anymore. Instead, we ask. We want to understand. There must be a reason behind those cries.
I found out later that the kid had a very rare case of spinal cancer. As your nerves are attached to your spinal cord, if the cancer blasts are in your spine, this means, most motor functions associated with the nerves affected will not function. For the boy, this means, he is immobile. He cannot walk and he does not have any coordination with his hands. But he can talk. And he can see. So what does the boy do? He shouts his frustrations and says, "I want to go home, I want to go home..."
My heart goes out to the boy. I may not know him, I never saw him but I want to just find him and hug him. I realized that brats are brats because it's their way of getting your attention, to let you just stop and look at him. All he wants is for someone to acknowledge his existence, his pain, his need to be loved or understood.
Aren't we all the same when we are in deep pain? We all have our different sets of defense mechanism. Some keep mum, some shout, some digress, some just act as if they are okay. But you know, deep down inside, amidst the facade, it pays that someone will just look you in the eye and say, "Shut up and let me understand you..."
The human psyche is complicated for most. But it's simple really. We just make things complicated. I don't know. One conversation with a friend says, "Complications make us feel something". I think, if complications make us feel something, maybe we can feel something with simplicity as well. With just being humane and try to understand beyond the facade. Let's make things simple. Babies are simple. Let's take their example.
When babies, cry, you know they need something.
When they are too silent, you know there's something wrong.
When they are too loud most of the time, you need to check what they are trying to convey.
It's when we grow up that things become complicated because we want to do things our own way. We want to prove that we don't need anyone or we don't want to tell anyone what we need. We expect a lot. And it's these expectations that ruin most simple things.
Simple fact is, we do need others. We really do.
So, when things go rough, I cry. I talk it out-- to people dead or alive. I talk to myself, I talk to God. So long as I talk, I feel better. I have my very selected few who knows my specific rants. You know who you are. And I could never be more grateful.
When others are loud, listen.
When others hurt you, understand their pain. There must be something causing it.
When it rains, bring an umbrella.
When your house falls down, build another one or find another shelter.
When things go rough, things can also get smooth.
When bad things happen, good things happen too. You just can't let it happen all at the same time, unless you're lucky.
When others tell their stories in their own simple or complicated ways, shut up, listen, and be a friend.
Life is simple.
As my friend says, Chillax.
Life happens, one day at a time.
Let's try to live life that way.
Reactive as I was before, I would have said, "What the heck is that boy's problem?" But if you are among the many who are in one way or another, affected with cancer or whose loved ones are affected by it, you feel a greater understanding of things. When we deal with things as big as cancer, most little things that make you react often do not have that much effect anymore. Instead, we ask. We want to understand. There must be a reason behind those cries.
I found out later that the kid had a very rare case of spinal cancer. As your nerves are attached to your spinal cord, if the cancer blasts are in your spine, this means, most motor functions associated with the nerves affected will not function. For the boy, this means, he is immobile. He cannot walk and he does not have any coordination with his hands. But he can talk. And he can see. So what does the boy do? He shouts his frustrations and says, "I want to go home, I want to go home..."My heart goes out to the boy. I may not know him, I never saw him but I want to just find him and hug him. I realized that brats are brats because it's their way of getting your attention, to let you just stop and look at him. All he wants is for someone to acknowledge his existence, his pain, his need to be loved or understood.
Aren't we all the same when we are in deep pain? We all have our different sets of defense mechanism. Some keep mum, some shout, some digress, some just act as if they are okay. But you know, deep down inside, amidst the facade, it pays that someone will just look you in the eye and say, "Shut up and let me understand you..."
The human psyche is complicated for most. But it's simple really. We just make things complicated. I don't know. One conversation with a friend says, "Complications make us feel something". I think, if complications make us feel something, maybe we can feel something with simplicity as well. With just being humane and try to understand beyond the facade. Let's make things simple. Babies are simple. Let's take their example.
When babies, cry, you know they need something.
When they are too silent, you know there's something wrong.
When they are too loud most of the time, you need to check what they are trying to convey.
It's when we grow up that things become complicated because we want to do things our own way. We want to prove that we don't need anyone or we don't want to tell anyone what we need. We expect a lot. And it's these expectations that ruin most simple things.
Simple fact is, we do need others. We really do.
So, when things go rough, I cry. I talk it out-- to people dead or alive. I talk to myself, I talk to God. So long as I talk, I feel better. I have my very selected few who knows my specific rants. You know who you are. And I could never be more grateful.
When others are loud, listen.
When others hurt you, understand their pain. There must be something causing it.
When it rains, bring an umbrella.
When your house falls down, build another one or find another shelter.
When things go rough, things can also get smooth.
When bad things happen, good things happen too. You just can't let it happen all at the same time, unless you're lucky.
When others tell their stories in their own simple or complicated ways, shut up, listen, and be a friend.
Life is simple.
As my friend says, Chillax.
Life happens, one day at a time.
Let's try to live life that way.
