Of Being Grounded and Beaten with Slippers
I now have my first entry of my different dislikes in life. These dislikes are mostly of how I was bought up, things or persons that are in contrast to my principles in life. These are in no way intended to be specific or influential, rather it is a personal dislike that I want to document.
My first dislike is for so-called spoiled brats. While above video is something that you might consider funny, those who experience these people first hand are in no way ROFLing (rolling on the floor, laughing). Spoiled brats exhibit behavioral problems, mostly coming from overindulging from parents or influential figures. While our Psyc manuals do not recognize this as a mental disorder, it is something that should be looked into as people of this nature are described to be grandiose, narcissistic, egocentric and regressed.
If you find someone to have excessive, self-centered and immature behavior, there is a term for that. In 1989, Bruce McIntosh coined the term "spoiled child syndrome". While said behaviors are derogatory to some, it specifically associates other behaviors such as lack of consideration for other people other than themselves, temper tantrums that are recurrent and inconsistent, an inability to handle delay of gratification, demands for having one's own way, obstructiveness and get this-- manipulation. Manipulation may vary to degrees. If these people know their power of manipulation, they can be very influential especially in getting what they want. Reports show that they can threaten others by taking their own lives, hurting others or act according to their will. Extreme cases involve frequent temper tantrums, physical aggression, defiance, destructive behavior and simple and good-natured refusal to comply with simple demands of daily living.
Famous psychologist Alfred Adler (1870-1937) believes that only child or only girl or only boy in the family develops this kind of syndrome. Mainly because they don't have any competition when it comes to attention. If not recognized and acted upon, this will make very negative repercussions in the future, such as but not limited to, interpersonal difficulties when person does not get admired, liked at or given what they want.
Moreover, significant social problems may occur like difficulty in coping with situations such as teachers refusing to grant assignment extensions, friends refusing to give to what they want, rejection in love. This would eventually lead to loss of friends, failure in employment, failure with personal relationships, inability to manage anger, professionalism and other relationships.
Causes are identified, as per studies:
My first dislike is for so-called spoiled brats. While above video is something that you might consider funny, those who experience these people first hand are in no way ROFLing (rolling on the floor, laughing). Spoiled brats exhibit behavioral problems, mostly coming from overindulging from parents or influential figures. While our Psyc manuals do not recognize this as a mental disorder, it is something that should be looked into as people of this nature are described to be grandiose, narcissistic, egocentric and regressed.
If you find someone to have excessive, self-centered and immature behavior, there is a term for that. In 1989, Bruce McIntosh coined the term "spoiled child syndrome". While said behaviors are derogatory to some, it specifically associates other behaviors such as lack of consideration for other people other than themselves, temper tantrums that are recurrent and inconsistent, an inability to handle delay of gratification, demands for having one's own way, obstructiveness and get this-- manipulation. Manipulation may vary to degrees. If these people know their power of manipulation, they can be very influential especially in getting what they want. Reports show that they can threaten others by taking their own lives, hurting others or act according to their will. Extreme cases involve frequent temper tantrums, physical aggression, defiance, destructive behavior and simple and good-natured refusal to comply with simple demands of daily living.
Famous psychologist Alfred Adler (1870-1937) believes that only child or only girl or only boy in the family develops this kind of syndrome. Mainly because they don't have any competition when it comes to attention. If not recognized and acted upon, this will make very negative repercussions in the future, such as but not limited to, interpersonal difficulties when person does not get admired, liked at or given what they want.
Moreover, significant social problems may occur like difficulty in coping with situations such as teachers refusing to grant assignment extensions, friends refusing to give to what they want, rejection in love. This would eventually lead to loss of friends, failure in employment, failure with personal relationships, inability to manage anger, professionalism and other relationships.
Causes are identified, as per studies:
- Failure to enforce consistent, age-appropriate limits
- Shielding of parents from normal everyday frustrations
- Provision of excessive material gifts, even when the person does not behave properly
- Improper role models by parents and/or influential figures
Many have asked me, how can you prevent this syndrome?
If person carrying this syndrome is still a child, then it is still easy to prevent. Up to 6 months, parents are allowed to comfort their child but after that, they should encourage their children to comfort themselves. This is because a child may learn to make crying as a source of manipulation to get what they want.
Parents should learn to be firm to set firm and clear limitations, verbal pleading does not work on all ages and that they should learn about the difficulties in life, followed by learning tutorials. Parents should explain why they discipline their kids, why they reward them, why things happen. Material things should not be given as an easy way out.
Too late, you may say?
Treatment by psychological consultants are advised both to the spoiled person and the spoilers or the parents. Parental competence is assessed and limitation settings should be taught. Other therapies related to this behavior should be given to person having this syndrome.
Treatment starts in awareness. Awareness and acceptance that one's child has a syndrome. And a stronger awareness that they need treatment. Awareness without action is null and void.
Wait, is this a case study? This is supposed to be my dislike in life. No. My principle stands that I understand where people are coming from, what causes this, etc. It might be because of my degree in Psychology or it might be because of my Dad and Mom's influence.
I may have not understood my parents before, I even hated them. But I thank them for not spoiling me.
I thank them for letting me kneel in salt because I shouted back at them, or did not give me my weekly allowance because I quarreled my brothers. I thank them for grounding me way back in highschool because I did not go home early as promised after prom. I thank them for letting me understand why we have to go through tough times, or why they need to lash me out with slippers or let me cry on my own. I thank them for not giving me answers right away. Rather, they have given me options and they have taught me to decide on my own.
Eventually, I have learned to say sorry, to be grateful for what life may give me and to use my own resources. I have learned that you cannot gain respect out of manipulation. I also learned that it is better to work your way to gain something rather than have someone give it to you at will. Eventually, I have learned that their way of disciplining never diminished their love for me and it has made me grow.
I thank them for letting me realize that I may not be perfect but they care and love me enough to make me become a better person.
While I mostly dislike them, I also pity these spoiled brats. They may always have joy but they will never get to handle pain, rejection, and that gratification of overcoming them on your own. Such arrogance they have. Such narcissism. Such manipulation. But such incapacity. Such waste.
