2017 Scribbles

Through my personal rollercoaster experience of love and loss, and through years of counselling friends and clients through theirs, I have learned the following lessons and I hope that they bring value to you as much as they did to me:

•    Life is a gift. I want you to do something. BREATHE. And while you do that, try to thank God for that semblance of life—often taken for granted, often misunderstood as something permanent. And like every gift, it can be taken away. Every breath I take makes me believe that I still have a purpose to pursue and that I shall make sure that I am worthy of this gift.

•     You are not your resume.  When I interview people, I always have this question, “So who are you beyond your CV? Tell me something that is not written here”. And oftentimes, it makes me understand better, appreciate the person more. True, what we accomplish in our academe and career might bring us more knowledge and experience, but these things do not define us.  What defines us are our choices that define our character and wisdom.
•       When someone gives you a eulogy, they will not cite the medals you’ve earned or the money you have in the bank. Instead, you will be remembered by how you made other people FEEL. So if you are rich and beautiful, make sure that you have a solid character in place, just in case those first two will be taken away.

• .       BE IN THE “NOW”. The past is something we always question while the future is something we worry about. But what is certain is what we have NOW. I have slowly learned not to second-guess my past or wait for life to happen. Go ahead! Explore, meet new friends, take the risk to let go of people who are not good for your character, laugh until your stomach hurts and you’re catching your breath. DANCE even if you have two left feet.

• .      The human spirit is the most resilient of all. You never know how strong you are until you endure the unendurable. It is so impossible in the moment to understand losses but people and circumstances come to us for a reason, maybe to set our lives in that specific longitude/latitude for our psycho/spiritual journey. I have learned to notice not just the hurt but the blessings that come along with the pain. And believe me, you will be in awe of how blessed we all are.
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• .       You will never run out of LOVE. Dili ka mahutdan. Trust me, someone who has lost her ‘greatest love’. I thought there is no more love to give, there is no more “me” to spare. But the heart and love would surprise you in the most unexpected of ways. There is so much love that the heart can hold, it is overflowing and because of that, it needs to be given away. Keeping it all to yourself won’t give you anything aside from loneliness and a general sense of wondering. Love is what matters and what is remembered. It is LOVE which connects us to one another and to the world around us, and in the world and life beyond. After all,  that love comes from an overflowing well-- God's. And love is God. God is love.  

One day, I envision my little ducklings, my turtle, my twinnie and my turtlette (these are my nephews and nieces) coming to me with their own struggles. I believe that these trials that I have now are something I must endure, just so I can look at them straight in the eyes with perfect credibility and say, “I’ve been through the same thing. I know your pain. You can do this.”

Happy New Year, my friends and loved ones. Thank you so much for all that you add up to my life.